| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2009|07:09 pm] |
I took the Polaroid down in my room
I'm pretty sure you have a new girlfriend
it's not as if I don't like you
it just makes me sad whenever I see it |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 17th, 2009|09:54 pm] |
The last time I saw you act like this
we were kids. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2009|09:30 pm] |
This month has been total suck.
And everyone that has contributed to that can fuck off! |
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| Prime time. |
[Jun. 11th, 2009|05:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
I found my dream apartment and I move in on the 24th.
It's in Hillcrest in the cutest 1950's building, it's huge with windows all over, a pink tiled bathroom, hard wood ceiling with gold light fixtures and wine racks.
I'm so inlove with it and it was a battle to make it mine.
And Michael is going to be my neighbor!
Other than that works been good and I'm happy!
Amy got a job at Flashbacks so it's going to rule working with her. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 27th, 2009|10:30 pm] |
I can't tell yesterday from tomorrow.
I can't tell the people I love from the people I hate. |
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| But now I'm gold. |
[Apr. 26th, 2009|08:48 pm] |
For the past few years I've felt like I've just been floating around, here and there. But once you stay in one shitty place for too long and don't have a core group of friends you can depend on, you're just sort of wading in the water, and if you do that for too long you'll fucking sink.
I gotta figure shit out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 21st, 2009|09:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
How many unforgivable things do you have to do before I stop forgiving you? |
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| It should have went something like this |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|10:11 pm] |
I know in the past I've caused you pain and I'm sorry. And I'll always be sorry 'till the day I die. And I hate this pen I'm holding because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you want to hate me, go ahead. If you want to burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down, you could tell me to go to hell. I'd go, if you wanted me to. And I'd send you a letter from there.
But that's not how it went. It didn't go any way because there was nothing. And I settled for it.
I just feel like there's this little girl starring at me, expecting me to rise up and be this super woman person and when I don't, when I fail or conform or bend, she's so disappointed in me, and in herself for believing.
I want to apologize to the 9 year old me. I don't know why I didn't become the person I thought I would by now.
No more settling, no more selling out, no more stars too far to reach. |
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| Are you mad that they still use your original choreography? |
[Feb. 9th, 2009|10:13 am] |
Love that I don't get invited to things at all anymore. Even when it was my idea in the first place.
Whatever this sounds immature, I don't care.
But when Chad has to ask me "are you going to Mosie's party?"
and I have no idea what he's talking about
it kind of sucks.
Actually, a lot of things suck right now. Mainly having to do with shitty girls, "friends" or not.
and to top off a fantastic week, someone wrote "Abortion Bitch" on the back off my car.
You gotta love San Diego. |
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| Movin on up |
[Jan. 29th, 2009|07:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
I got a raise and promoted to a manager at work. It's about damn time.
Yesterday was Jasmine's(my tattoo artist) birthday, we went to RA sushi downtown with Alex, this girl that dates one of the other artists at Black Rose. And it was so nice going out with other girls that are 21 and finally feeling my age.
Oh, and my blow dryer broke so I have no idea what to do for the next week... |
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| The same words for different girls |
[Jan. 27th, 2009|06:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  jealous | ] |
There's pictures in my head from a movie I've never seen
I turn to the mirror and my face looks mean. |
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| Sweetness can rot your teeth, bittersweet cacophony |
[Jan. 11th, 2009|07:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | relieved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ethan's song | ] |
Things have been so crazy at work. The store manager Jessica has to go manage the Hillcrest store now full time. She starts there on Tuesday, we found on yesterday and that was her last day. She took me in the back yesterday and gave me this long talk about how this means it's my opportunity to move up and become a manager. We actually had a really good talk and both of us were close to tears. It's been so frustrating and we've bumped heads so much this past year that it was so good to hear her say that she believes in me and knows I'm capable. Just thinking about how many times I've been close to quiting, and how many times I left work crying or pissed, just knowing that it's all leading to somewhere is a huge weight off. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2008|09:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
Today Chad and I drove to Julian for the day.
As we drove up the hills I could see all the trees that had been burned up from the fires but it was still really beautiful.
We had amazing apple pie and walked through the old cemetery like goths.
and yesterday I got the outline for my feet tattoos.
And these are some random ones from Christmas and when my mom came to visit.
oh yeah, and from now on my post are public. |
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| You can call me a bitch |
[Oct. 5th, 2008|08:22 pm] |
It's fine, I know exactly what I am. And although it doesn't boil down to one simple word I know where I stand.
And who I am.
That being said...
You'll never hear me say one fucking word I don't mean. You'll never be shocked finding out I don't like you, my shitlist is as public as the rest of my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Hate me all you want but I know that aspect is respected. I don't schmooze or kiss ass and if I have something to say it'll be said.
I have one face.
I'm sick to my stomach watching fake people back stab and kiss up to fake people.
It's not a question of loyalty but of tact.
And you people just don't have any.
I've been clicking my heels all day and I'm still in this shithole. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 9th, 2008|01:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  listless | ] |
I've been out walking
I don't do too much talking
These days, these days.
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I had the chance to.
I've stopped my rambling,
I don't do too much gambling
These days, these days.
These days I seem to think about
How all the changes came about my ways
And I wonder if I'll see another highway.
I had a lover,
I don't think I'll risk another
These days, these days.
And if I seem to be afraid
To live the life that I have made in song
It's just that I've been losing so long.
La la la la la, la la.
I've stopped my dreaming,
I won't do too much scheming
These days, these days.
These days I sit on corner stones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten.
Please don't confront me with my failures,
I had not forgotten them. |
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| hmmm |
[Jun. 17th, 2008|09:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
You're the best. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 23rd, 2008|08:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
I'm going to LA on Sunday to visit Zach. It's gonna be nice getting away for a day, lots of things have been bothering me lately and I need a break.
I got a new tattoo
it's a peacock feather on my leg
I like it
whatever. |
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